Transitions

I visited the Born to Dive juniors tournament this weekend in Trenton, NJ. I hung around Watchung Hills, of course, the team I captained last year and still care about--enough to devote my weekend to coaching them when my coaching wisdom is only half desired, if that much. I may have a few selfish reasons, but they are mostly benign: I like watching Ultimate, love teaching other people, and want to be respected as somebody who knows what he is talking about, knows how to play this game pretty well.

Will it validate me as a captain if the team succeeds in my absence, showing how much I taught them? Probably not. Will it validate me as a player if the team performs poorly in my absence, reflecting how important it was to have me on the field? Even less likely. I realize how little I taught the underclassmen when I see how much they lack in the foundations of the game. I know the team did fine at a tournament last year when I wasn't there. I think I've improved as a player and grown in my understanding of the game, even in the past few months. I have a good coach and teammates at Rutgers to thank for that. I played well when we scrimmaged at the end of the day, even without cleats. During the tournament, I "saw" what cuts should have happened, what throws could have been put, and which ones should not have happened. Granted, things look different from the sideline, but I definitely had something to contribute, advice to give.

The coach told me that besides the team's lack of practice, it had to do, in part, with how I have moved up to the college level. Juniors Ultimate, he said, would look feebler and less organized, slower and more poorly executed compared to the Ultimate I now experience. Apparently, when I move up to club I get even sharper glasses, which throw into focus college Ultimate as low-level junk compared to club. I get his point, but I can't help but think that there is Good Ultimate for any level. Doing as a team what works, playing smart. Individual skill levels may differ greatly, but you can respect a team that uses its skills effectively.

So it's frustrating to see a team struggle on the field when you know they can play at a higher level, a level more representative of their skill and knowledge. It's even harder to take when you thought you laid some of those foundations, and find that they've crumbled almost as if they were never there to begin with. It makes me wonder what our coach at Rutgers thinks when he hears about our performance, our successes and failures, after a tournament. What does he think when he sees us make bad choices on offense, play lazy D, fail to execute the basics. It's gotta be frustrating.

It tells me that there must be great reward in coaching, if so many coaches deal with that frustration, lose their voices repeating the same directives and reminders. So I still want to coach. I want to be a better player first, though, reach success with my team and taste victory through hard work, smart offense, and oppressive defense. This is my transitional year, from high school to college, and I like it so far. I'm still looking to improve, looking forward to being healthy and strong again after this setback. I'm looking forward to playing with my team at Sectionals.